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Solo: A Solo Solo

by Kyle Cowlick

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1.
Gather round everybody Grab a plot of grass listen up I’ve got some rambling stories As if you haven’t heard enough And I never have enough money To record my songs oh so perfectly I only have one guitar My piano only has two keys Yes that’s a joke on the two keys I’ve forced into this song Music is stupid I hate it I dream of songs only two chords long And no one cares about modulations No one gives a fuck about which chords Or making them feel feelings Classical music makes me bored And I shouldn’t need to read instructional To listen to a song And understand its greatness And fucking sing along Here’s my acoustic album Nobody knows who I am I’m ready to die starving So you can live life and dance
2.
The water bottles empty Guess we’ll fill it in the sink There’s a pause between the sets That’ll give me time to think When music starts again The panic just might end But my feet until then Where my eyes are sent I wanna write wry politics With witty dry poetics But it comes out wrong Even I can’t sing along I’ve gotta fix myself I’ve gotta fix myself Before I can fix Anything else I’ve gotta fix myself I’ve gotta fix myself Before I can fix Anything else My brain’s always empty When beat beating beats The panic from my head And then I can breathe And I know I can’t think With panic either But then my brain’s fuller And I can’t force a breather Shows are where I feel secure When I’m dancing on the floor That don’t change a thing And no one hears me sing I’ve gotta fix myself I’ve gotta fix myself Before I can fix Anything else I’ve gotta fix myself I’ve gotta fix myself Before I can fix Anything else The world needs a revolution I need a revolution in my head To fight against collusion that causes my confusion Hopefully before I’m dead Panic attacks are good for one thing Writing songs so fast I can hardly sing
3.
So tired of being alone sometimes So tired of wondering why I don't want to be with my family On an average night in an average country I can't eat I can't sleep I can't feel Right these days I can't smoke I can't drink I can't do anything But I gotta get out somehow Gotta get out of the house Or I'm gonna watch the news and get real depressed I should really get used to this shit I guess I need a distraction Too much inaction I'm gonna be happier than I was yesterday My happiness is mine to take I'm gonna be content Content is my intent There's gonna be a war in my stomach It's been taking abuse for a couple years And I can't stop feeling angry about all the stupid shit that I hear When I had a car I could run away When I had a car I could fix today When I had a car I miss my car Not gonna watch the news today It's not really much of a change yes my anxiety will stay Everything is fucked up, the world is gonna end So laugh about it and joke about it and feel the pain again No cars no friends No life no end No bands no show No open no close No life no love No God above No car no friends No car no friends
4.
I went to the store to buy some bread but instead bought that vitamin to take on a plane I wanna live forever so I'll drink that dissolved in a coca-cola, gotta embrace the inane I went and got a vaccine and as far I can tell the autism hasn't kicked in yet I kinda want my money back buyers remorse is kicking in I guess another purchase I'll regret It's just like McCarthyism, Jenny not Joe Am I getting too political for a punk rock show? What to buy? What to buy? Shove more knowledge in my eyes What's everyone got what's not yet bought I need another reason to stand in line What to buy? I went to the movies to see the most recent remake sequel or reboot Look at all the things to buy look at the lights in the sky oh my god that dress is so cute And I went to the park to feed some ducks but forgot I didn't buy bread from the store And I went online to do some shopping for my family but but I'm just not sure What to buy? What to buy? Shove more shit in my eyes What's everyone got what's not yet bought I need another reason to stand in line What to buy? What to buy? What to buy? Shove more knowledge in my eyes What's everyone got what's not yet bought I need another reason to stand in line What to buy? And you cant buy your life back No you cant get your life back No you can't buy your life back I want Welch's fruit snacks What to buy? What to buy? Shove more knowledge in my eyes What's everyone got what's not yet bought I need another reason to stand in line What to buy? What to buy? Shove more shit in my eyes What’s everyone got? Before we all rot I need another reason to stand in line What to buy?
5.
Smoking his coffee and drinking his cigarettes Seems he's been missing out on all his benefits He sits in his chair He sits and he stares As he sits and stares in his chair Now he's snorting his whiskey and shooting his cocaine He's got scars on his arms and I think he's in pain He sits in the bar Scars on his arms Scars on his arms in the bar He's staying out late And saying he's great Just like cheese left out in the sun But he doesn't melt He just wraps his belt Around another girl's neck til he's done Yeah he won't stop killing Or drinking he's filling His tires to pressure again So when he runs down A rodeo clown He won't scratch his new coat of paint He's running from the law boys Running with a smoke Tucked right behind his ear He's hoping maybe he Can kill them with cancer Run away and marry his beer Now Outlaw McKillson He was the best The devil so said he was skilled Thats until one day he went down to hell And the devil's the man that he killed Yes the devil's the man that he killed Now you may think a man who killed the devil Can't be made of stone But the truth is outlaw McKillson just wanted to take his throne for his own Just wanted to take his throne for his own And outlaw McKillson sat on his throne And you know what he said to himself Well they say that home is where the heart is Well my hearts always lived here in hell And the road I’ve ridden has been winding and winding but the side has always been rough and wrong And now in the heart of the dark I can sing but will have no redemption song
6.
Caffiend 02:02
There’s a fiend in my life and it’s always half caff And I feel like I’m floating without a raft Why’d I drink you today Just to stay awake Because awake and insane is always a mistake I always wanna be alert but My brains full of anxious dirt And I can’t clean it or I won’t Maybe too lazy or I don’t Know what to do when you have a brain like me Caffeinating casts a cloud I can’t flee Coffee beans and kickstart means I’m alert and aware but at the same time so goddamn scared Floating through my shitty life now And I could better but I’m not sure how Our situations intoxicating I’m coping through copious caffeinating My hearts gonna blow and I’ll be dead Blood pressures way too high and I know I said Id drink less but I’m a mess I’m tired I guess and full of stress And i don’t know what to do when you have a brain like me Caffeinating casts a cloud I can’t flee Coffee beans and kickstart means I’m alert and aware but at the same time so goddamn scared Breathing fast Mouth aghast Hands are shaking Scalp is flaking Play it faster Play it faster Play it fast so I can’t think
7.
Out in the forest Cold as a knight Riding on horseback Strung like a kite I'm lost and lustily Lumbering along Humming a ditty Not quite a song Afraid as an infant A faintly frayed knot A disease that you're throwing A voice that you caught I'm blind and blandly bumbling about A gnashing and screaming A song that I'll shout The world kinda sucks When you're stickily stuck In an orange ooze of Oratory fuck Phenomenally flipping And flopping you're dripping And we're drowning and all out of luck But vile violinists Violently determined To vulgarly violate Virginal vermin All stuck in a torture wheel Relentlessly spinning Wistfully losing while List fully written The world kinda sucks When you're stickily stuck In an orange ooze of Oratory fuck Phenomenally flipping And flopping you're dripping And we're drowning and all out of luck And a toupeed sniff of the cheese powder stiff In a Pigpendular aura display Will keep us professing with bated perplexion Koka Kola advertising or cocaine The world kinda sucks When you're stickily stuck In an orange ooze of Oratory fuck Phenomenally flipping And flopping you're dripping And we're drowning and all out of luck Quite frankly my pockets are fuck less Our lot in life low fully luckless
8.
We came out fast and we came out drunk And we didn’t think we could ever flunk We aimed for stars but our visions going Pull up a chair the bleach is flowing Minds in the clouds and clouds on the mind But there’s no future we can find It’s clear the beer is here I fear Until we’re free after four long years And I Kant B-Leave Meyes Kant B-Leave Meyes Kant B-Leave Meyes We yelled at a void that yelled at us We ranted at strangers sitting on the bus We smoked our brains so wed forget To get four years worth of hopelessness Some fought back hard but I shat the bed I couldn’t get out of my own head I said fuck you to strangers online I red my eyes puke in my wine And I Kant B-Leave Meyes Kant B-Leave Meyes Kant B-Leave Meyes I can never see my eyes How can I tell they aren’t lies Gold and green and blue But can you say a hue I need glasses for my eyes Though my script is still quite fine New lenses won’t do Well all be corpses soon And I Kant B-Leave Meyes Kant B-Leave Meyes Kant B-Leave Meyes
9.
I wish I had food in my belly I wish I had food in my belly ooh I wish I had Burgers wish I had fries I wish I had some chicken pot pie And I wish I had food in my belly And I wish I had booze in my belly Wish I had booze in my belly ooh I wish I had bourbon wish I had beer Maybe a little everclear I wish I had booze in my belly Man I wish we had a president for our country I wish we had a president for our country ooh But instead we got a pile of rats Personifying an orange trash bag I wish we had president for our country And that's why I need booze in my belly That's why I need booze in belly ooh Vodka whiskey wine and a blunt But you know what the fuck I really want I wish we had a president for our country And that's why I need booze in my belly And I wish I had food in my belly I wish I had food in my belly ooh But when your president only cares about the wealthy It's really fucking hard for the poor to be healthy And I don’t have food in my belly Yeah and I don’t have a president for my country Man I wish I had a president for my country
10.
Music school so goddamn dumb That everything just might go numb I'm here but am I here to play Why do I feel this way Feeling addiction kicking in With every breath inhaling in Im a directionless rolling pin A five dollar movie bargain bin So damn tired of feeling bad about myself I think that my brain might be bad place to delve How are people happy? Do they just pretend? I'm waiting Waiting I'm still waiting For all this shit to end How will I get out? Should I fake it too? I'm fafafafafafa-feeling fine But it's just not true And the irony of all this life Is struggling to stay alive When life’s a struggle anyway Guess I win everyday Participation trophy sleeping tonight As long as I don't lose this fight How are people happy? Do they just pretend? I said I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm still waiting For all this shit to end How will I get out? Should I fake it too? I'm fafafafafafa-feeling fine But it's just not true The good feeling never stays with me As long as I hope But another mechanism of disassociation Tells me I don't have to cope How are people happy? Do they just pretend? I said I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm still waiting For all this shit to end How will I get out? Should I fake it too? I'm fafafafafafa-feeling fine But it's just not true I’m fafafafafafa-feeling
11.
Bob Dylan's making Chrysler commercials And the rest of the worlds facing a reversal The poor will be rich and the rich will be poor But only because the radios become an ear sore Find counter cultures behind the counter Buy society approved rebellion around here Then you can get paid at a discount rate Hate what everyone else hates I'm living with being poor and happy but still would love to be rich Because then it would be easier to be a goddamn son of a bitch And easy is easier Don't you agree That having money would be better than having to be happy Johnny rotten cant believe it’s not butter And Dylan’s IBMing no feet in the gutter Star Trek guest starring iggy pop The only true punks are the ones who died before they could sellout they can’t make it stop It's not ideal but I guess I'll have to deal I'm ripping from Dylan I'm stealing his tunes I'm cutting and slicing reopening old wounds Cause he's not here for us he's on the moon If a Chevrolet is worth a million You'll buy it regardless because it is new And he's bob fucking Dylan Bob fucking Dylan Easy is easier Even if it's sleazier Easy is easier-erer Easy is easier Easy is easier Even if it's sleazier Easy is easier-erer Easy is easier
12.
I'm sorry that my voice sounds rough And there isn't a fancy machine there ain’t no us I'm sorry but my voice is kinda sore I've been coating it with turpentine since the night before Cause maybe it feels better to scream out the words Than to sing the words perfectly just how you should Cause maybe if everyone can hear what you say Then they’ll all share it and assimilate the pain So come on everyone Let my blood fall to your page We'll come together and share this book of broken memories we made Cause maybe if we break off the bad parts and throw them in the furnace We won't only be good on the surface I'm sorry my guitar tone ain't right They rushed me out here without a sound check tonight I’m sorry but it wouldn’t matter anyway And the dials on my guitar kinda turn randomly Because maybe it feels better to play out a song Than to fuck around with the amp make the people wait so long Cause maybe if everyone can hear what you say Then they’ll all share it and assimilate the pain So come on everyone Let my blood fall to your page We'll come together and share this book of broken memories we made Cause maybe if we break off the bad parts and throw them in the furnace We won't only be good on the surface We won't only be good on the surface And we won't only say That we're doing okay No we won't only be good on the surface So come on everyone Let my blood fall to your page We'll come together and share this book of broken memories we made Cause maybe if we break off the bad parts and throw them in the furnace Then we won't only be good on the surface
13.
I’m so done With this dumb anxiety bullshit Ain’t it fun But it makes me always wanna quit I think I’ve had enough of it I don’t think that I’m mentally fit I need a release Cause my brain’s a shit piece Waterfalls But it’s probably been there before Better calls Have been made by passed outs on the floor I wish that were me but I’d be sore Distractions help me feel secure I need to breathe But I can barely eat And I’ve been taking my convenience store uppers with my Green Eggs and Ham I think my hearts gonna explode Trying to cope by walking through nature goddamn It’s just a less tarry road I get stressed When drivers won’t let me in the lane When I’m depressed It’ll send me to a pit of pain My brain makes me feel insane I need to shut up when the self hate rains I need to eat But I can never breathe I’m taking convenience store uppers with my Green Eggs and Ham I think my heart will explode Trying to cope by walking through nature goddamn It’s just a less tarry road And I’m always thinking How long will I be this way And I’m always overthinking I wanna always at least be A person who I wanna see A person who is pretty much ok I wanna always at least be I wanna always at least be I wanna always at least be ok

about

The first album from The Bomb Shelfter Dropouts very own, Kyle Cowlick! This project was recorded over the course of spring time in the remoteness of a Trolly Square living room.

credits

released July 14, 2020

Myke Glessner - Engineer
David Spencer - Producer

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Kyle Cowlick Wilmington, Delaware

I usually sing in the Bomb Shelter Dropouts, but now I'm doing acoustic stuff too because money obviously. Apparently I break strings either way but that's just the danger of playing a guitar more aggressively than it probably should be. Anyway, here's a lot of songs that aren't Wonderwall. ... more

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